Where's the Big Bang?

The latest Star Wars movie was so incredibly revolting that it proves difficult to find words formidable enough to justify this dire abomination that is Clone Wars. In fact, I would be so bold to say that the best part of this movie was the popcorn, and they forgot to put butter on it!

The most despicable aspect of the entire movie had to be the new character, Ahsoka Tano. Ahsoka acted under Anakin as his Padawan. He didn't want a 'youngling' following him around originally, but Anakin was signed up by Obi-Wan to receive one.  They make it seem like Padawans are just at your local convenience store for a dollar-fifty. Like any child-friendly film, the conflicting characters became allies by the end of the movie, even though Anakin would probably never befriend her - what would Padme do if she saw him flaunting around with another female? A Twi-Lek, too!

Anyone remember how when they were young, everything ended in 'y'? Ducky, Piggy, Doggy, Kitty, Dummy, etc. Sure, it's cute with REAL people when they are young, but not in the series that got the flak cannon when Anakin slaughtered innocent children (Ep. 3) with no mercy. On that note, the entire movie I was just brooding on the moment that Anakin would whirl around saber her, it never happened. Back on topic, the Padawan has pet names for nearly every character in the film: R2D2's pure awesomeness vanishes every time she says 'R2-y'. Not to mention Anakin Skywalker starring as 'Skyguy', teehee, I rhymed! Jabba the Hutt's son, the character that the movie revolves around, is named 'Stinky', or 'Stinkys', depending on who says it. Anakin was right, she is mentally and intellectually too young to represent the Jedi Order.

Star Wars: The Clone Wars could have ended upwards of 5 times, and felt more like a series of Saturday morning cartoons than an epic action flick. The movie is lacking in historical accuracy, changing all the basic rules of Star Wars (I was surprised that there was fire in space in this one!), and is simply not worthy (please don't flog me) of the title "Star Wars". The only reason to see this epic fail of a movie, other than your kids, is to claim that you've seen all of them.  Unfortunately, I don't know that such a statement is regarded as 'cool' anymore. Lucas was smart in that he gave Dave Filoni the title Director; he has successfully distanced himself from his own creation.